


Picture Perfect

by missmarymakeup93



Series: Afterlife [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Happy Mickey, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage, Mentions of Cancer, Not Really Character Death, Old Age, Original Character Death(s), Paranormal, Sad Mickey, Smoking, Songfic, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-06 17:44:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10340874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmarymakeup93/pseuds/missmarymakeup93
Summary: Mickey needs to learn how to live without the one thing he never thought he could live without.





	1. On Fire.

**Author's Note:**

> It's gonna be nine chapters. Short chapters. 
> 
> Based on the song Picture Perfect by Escape the Fate.

You lived your life like you were on fire.  
But how can I dance when your soul just lifted me higher and higher and higher?

 

It was all a flash. Like some bad movie and it played over and over inside Mickeys head. This hospital was too white, too clean. He didn't deserve to be here. Ian did. He deserved to feel the pavement rub his skin off, the burn and the scars. He deserved to die.

He deserved to live this life without Ian. He was a bad person. He killed the love of his life. Mickey could feel tears fill his eyes, and he let them slip. He didn't care anymore. Leaning his head back he closed his eyes letting his chocked sobs fill the room.

*Flashback*

"Why did we drink so much?" Ian yelled as they stumbled out of the restaurant towards their car.

"That's a dumb fucking question, when don't we drink this much?" Mickey laughed and pulled Ian to him, pressing their lips together.

Sloppy touches and tongues roamed as they stood a few feet from the car. Heat started to build up as hands roamed dangerously close to parts that shouldn't be explored in public. Mickey pulled away and grabbed Ian's hand. Dragging his exceedingly drunk husband over to the car and opening the door.

"Do you think you should be driving? We can call an Uber." Ian stopped midway into the car looking up into blue eyes.

"I've driven worse than this. You know that. We will be fine." Mickey confidently said as Ian got all the way into the car and the door closed.

Somewhere in the back of Mickey's head he knew he shouldn't be driving. They were only a few blocks from home. He didn't think it would be that big of a deal.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard when we get home babe. Its going to be amazing." Ian exclaimed placing a hand on Mickey's knee and squeezing as he pulled out of the parking space.

"Oh really now firecrotch? You seem very confident in that drunken state of yours." Mickey laughed and shifted in his seat. His cock stured in his jeans.

"Don't I always fuck you good?" Ian slurred and moved his hand just a little higher as they pulled up to a stop light.

"Always." Mickey accelerated as the light turned green and he turned his head to look at Ian. Their eyes locked and light filled the car.

****

Mickey could only hear himself as his sobs turned into wailing and he couldn't sit there any longer. He needed to leave. He couldn't be here. He didn't deserve to sit in a hospital room. He deserved to be in Ian's place. Pulling the IV from his arm he stood up and grabbed his belongings from the chair.

He sneaked out through the Emergency Room entrance and lit a cigarette. The cold of the night chilled his bones and a shiver ran up his spine. He could feel more tears fill his eyes when he saw a distraught Fiona running towards him. He crumbled in her arms and for the first time in his life he let someone see him cry.

Ian was Mickey's fire, now he was just a pile of dust.


	2. Collapse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried while I wrote this.

Paint bleeds, ink runs, image of your love  
Your memory, our history  
(Why did you have to go?)

The days bled. The bottles piled up on the floor. Mickey couldn't see straight, the tears flooded his eyes. He felt like he wasn't on this Earth anymore. That night he cried in Fiona's arms for what felt like forever until he just couldn't anymore. 

He collapsed in her arms and she caressed his hair like Ian used to. She whispered soothing words and it was motherly. She was kind. It ripped him apart inside. He screamed why to whoever would hear and she calmed him down. 

"It's not your fault Mickey. They ran the light. You didn't do it. Listen to me please Mickey." Fiona's pleadings went unanswered as he pushed away from her shaking his head. 

He knew he was to blame. That's why he lifted the bottle of Jack to his lips and felt the liquid coat his throat and slide down into his belly. It had been three days, three days without Ian. Three days without his kisses. Three days not waking up to those beautiful green eyes looking up at him through thick lashes.

Hearing a knock at the door he stumbled out of bed. It was today. He dreaded today. He had nightmares about today and he knew who was behind the door. He knew she would cry when she saw him. 

"Come in Debbie." He opened the door and wide eyes looked up at him. It was instant and his stomach knotted and his tongue felt heavy. 

She reached for him and he let her wrap her arms around him. He let the tears fall again. He let himself be comforted by her. She rubbed his back and she smelled like Ian. She must have been wearing his cologne. 

She pulled away and moved into the messy apartment. Her eyes widened when she was met with broken glass, clothes everywhere, bottles littered the floor and she turned to head towards the bedroom. 

"We need to get you ready Mickey. Please come with me. I know, I know it's hard." Debbie choked and pulled out a black button up shirt and black slacks from the closet and placed them softly on the bed. 

"I don't think I can Debbie." Mickey pleaded eyes connecting with Debbie's. 

"Out of all of us, Ian would have wanted you there the most. He wouldn't even give a shit if we were. But you, you were his life Mickey. From the moment you two met. He knew. Please come, if not for him for me please. I need you there. You are my brother. You are my family. Please don't leave me in this alone." Debbie grabbed his hand and gripped it tightly. 

Mickey cracked a slight smile. He always loved Debbie. She reminded him of Ian. Nodding he headed to the bathroom with the clothes Debbie picked out. Emerging a few minutes later dressed in black he felt this intense wave of regret wash over him. He didn't want to let Debbie down like he let Ian down.

They headed to the service. It was small. Family and friends. It was the hardest thing he has ever done not to break down when he saw the tear stained cheeks of everyone there. It felt like it took him a million years to get to the group. His legs felt like jello. 

Out of nowhere Mandy hugged him. It was a real hug and he felt his resolve crumble in her arms and he felt the tears on his neck. They couldn't create words so they shared sobs. Arms tightening. 

They pulled apart and Mandy wiped the tears from Mickey's face. Hands lingering on his cheek before pulling away and turning to face the group of people waiting beside the closed casket. 

"Does anyone wanna say a few words." A young man in the corner started moving towards the center of the room. 

The room remained silent until Mickey stepped forward facing the crowd. Shocked eyes focused on him and he wiped his cheeks. 

"I can't start this without saying how much I love you Ian. From the moment I saw you I loved you. I put you through hell. You were still there. You still pushed me, loved me. You never ceased to amaze me in anything you did. You saw something in me no one else ever saw. I didn't see it either. Until you showed me what love was. And your love helped me. Your love saved me. When I asked you to marry me you were so shocked and when you said yes I couldn't believe it. I never thought I could love someone as much as you and I miss you more than I can articulate into words. What you have done for me in this life and what you made me feel every day we were together will never leave my heart. You will never leave my heart. You are my life. I will see you soon." Mickey placed a hand on top of the casket, his face wet, voice strained he closed his eyes. And for a second he felt the hair on his arms stand and something touch his hand. 

Shaking his head he turned and walked right into Mandy's arms. Every bit of strength he had escaped him and he collapsed. He felt his heart race and she rubbed his back. 

As everyone left, Mickey walked forward and placed his forehead against the cool wood. 

"Why did you have to go?" He whispered. His heart was being buried today.


	3. Dreaming of You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey dreams of Ian.

I'd give up my eyes to see you one last time. And I'd give all my fingertips to touch you. And I could paint you picture perfect even if I were blinded. But you have to die for me to see how to live. 

******

It felt like heaven, Ian's tongue pressed against the underside of Mickey's cock. He traveled up and engulfed his cock, sucking gently as he slid up the length and set up between Mickey's legs. 

Mickey reached out and pulled Ian close, lips guiding together. Tongues played and moans escaped both as Ian pressed their groins together. Mickey grabbed Ian, roughly flipping them and straddling his husband. 

Running his hands along the curves of Ian's chest; He clutched the red heads face between his hands and stroked the skin along his jaw. Eyes connected and Ian's hands found Mickey's hips and rubbed soothing circles against the pale skin. 

"Why are you so beautiful on top of me?" Ian asked pushing his face up to capture Mickey's lips. 

Mickey smiled against his lips and reached to grab Ian's hands lacing them together. He always loved the boys skin. It was soft. It was warm. It was Ian and that's all Mickey wanted. 

"I love you." Mickey whispered against his husband's lips. 

Mickey pressed his face into the crook of Ian's neck. Pressing sweet kisses to the freckled skin. He could feel the ache in his chest and the tears that wanted to spill. 

"I love you. Always have. Forever." Ian flipped them over, resting between spread legs. 

He reached along the bed for the tube that was placed there minutes before. Opening it, he poured a generous amount onto his hand. Coating his fingers he moved to insert them.

"No, please. I wanna feel you. Fully." Mickey whispered, hands covering his face. His chest rose and fell rapidly. 

Ian only nodded before rubbing the lube along the length of his cock. Wiping his hands on the sheets he pressed himself into the warmth that is Mickey. He stilled himself and leaned down pressing their lips together. 

Pulling out, he pressed in swiftly catching Mickey's moan in his mouth as eager lips moved together. 

"Yes harder, please!" Mickey moaned as he wrapped his legs tightly around Ian's waist. 

Hands pressed together. Shared breath tangled with tongues as moans escaped both men. Bodies met and melted together like paint on a canvas. Mickey's skin burned as Ian pressed kisses down his neck along his collarbone. 

"I don't know if I could live a day without seeing you," Mickey gasped, meeting Ian's relentless pounding against his prostate.

"You will. I promise baby, everything will get better." Ian pressed their lips together. 

*****

Mickey's eyes widened and he felt his world shake. Setting up his body shivered, sweat dripped down his body. Grasping at the bedsheets, he found his bed empty and cold. It had been a dream. A cruel dream.

Mickey felt the tears before he could stop himself and his world crumbled around him. It had felt so real. It had felt like heaven. Where he was had to undoubtedly be hell. Collapsing onto the bed he pressed his face into Ian's pillow. 

"What I wouldn't give just to see you one last time." Mickey whispered into the pillow. 

It still faintly smelled like him. His sobs filled the room. He could feel sleep take over him again as he slipped into slumber.


	4. Memories.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey recalls meeting Ian for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute little Gallavich.

I lived my life hiding in shadows but now I can see  
'Cause your soul is lifting me higher and higher and higher

Mickey's brain was fried. He couldn't contain his sadness when he drank. His brain always remembering. Always keeping Ian alive in his head. He hated it. He never wanted to forget but he wish he could. 

******

"Move you little shit!" Terry pressed his hand up the side of Mickey's head, startling the boy. 

Mickey moved off the couch, his spot replaced by a half naked drunk Terry. He would no doubt drink all day but seventeen year old Mickey didn't give two shits. Shaking his head he went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. 

Cracking it open, he chugged it in one gulp. Mandy would be home from school soon. So at least he would have someone to talk to. Dumping the empty bottle in the trash he threw on his shoes and moved out the front door. 

As he was decending the stairs a boy, who looked to be about fifteen ran past him. He was pale with bright red hair. It suited him, Mickey thought. The boy caught his eye and smiled as he continued down the street. 

A few moments later, his sister followed down the road. Her back pack swang behind her. She pushed through the gate and ran up the stairs. 

"Did a red head run past you?" Mandy caught her breath and looked pointedly at her brother.

"Yes firecrotch booked it past me, why? What did he do?" Mickey pulled out a cigarette and lit it, a uninterested look graced his face. 

"We got caught someplace where we weren't supposed to be, I told him if he made it before me to round the block and come back." Mandy plucked the cigarette from Mickey's hands and settled on the step.

"Why?" Mickey snatched his cigarette back, a dirty look plastered on his face. 

"He is new, you know how much Terry likes new. Didn't want him getting beat on because he was here without me." Mandy stood as Ian came to a halt in front of the house. His chest rapidly moved under his tight shirt.

Mickey couldn't stop his eyes from wondering over the red heads body. His face was flushed, his brow thick with sweat and his shirt clung to every curve. This kid was attractive as all hell. 

"Ian this is my shit head brother Mickey," Mandy introduced and grabbed him pulling Ian into the house. 

"Hi Mickey," Ian waved as he was dragged into a room. 

The door closed and Mickey couldn't look away. Ian gave him a feeling he couldn't explain and that made him feel weird. Mickey reserve was broken when Terry appeared at the thresh hold, eyes blood shot and a beer in hand. 

"Is Mandy home asshole?" Mickey nodded and lit another cigarette going down the stairs.

"Where you going little shit?" Terry moved to follow but decided against it in his current state of dress.

Mickey ignored him and continued to walk down the street. The red head with the cute smile was all he could think about. He shouldn't be though. His life was hell enough as it is, he was after all fucked for life being Terry Milkovich's favorite punching bag. 

Mickey walked, he didn't know where but just walked. His mind racing. He didn't know how long he walked but his feet took him to his favorite abandoned building. He knew, deep down he was gay but he would never admit it.

The hell Terry put him through every day was enough incentive to keep that part of him hidden. At least until his piece of shit father left. Ian scared him though. He didn't even know the kid and he was completely enthralled by him.

He kicked a can that lay desolate as he decended the stairs and landed on the roof. He felt the breeze hit his skin and he sighed with relief. He was far from Terry, far from the red head, he could breathe. 

So wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't hear when someone else entered his bubble. 

"Mandy said you would be here." Ian broke the silence as settled on the roof. 

"Why you here?" Mickey's eyes felt like saucers in his head as he watched Ian walk towards him and settle against the wall. 

"I didn't wanna go home. Mandy said I should go where you go when your mind won't shut up. She warned me you might be here though. I didn't wanna disturb you, but you looked a little distraught up here by yourself. Thought I'd offer some company." Ian chuckled and closed his eyes, head pressed to the concrete wall. 

"Company is over rated." Mickey felt the red heads eyes on him as he moved about the roof.

"Sometimes. But I'm pretty good company." Ian sounded quite confident, it made Mickey like him even more. 

"Oh aren't you confident." Mickey laughed. 

"Oh I'm a very confident person. Especially in certain scenarios." Ian stood, his eyes connected with Mickey's.

Mickey chuckled nervously and watched as Ian moved closer. He felt a little anxious when Ian moved to stand next to him, their shoulders pressed together. 

"You hide in the shadows, away from your problems. But I see you." Ian pressed his shoulder to Mickey's. Their hands grazed. 

"Oh you see me so well huh? Well what is my problem then?" Mickey moved away turning to stare into green eyes.

"Among other things, I can see that you like me. I saw it the moment our eyes connected earlier. I can see it scares you." 

Mickey didn't say anything, he just turned and fled down the stairs. He could hear Ian follow him and he turned swiftly. His hand connecting with Ian's chest stopping him. 

"You don't know me. You don't know anything about me." Mickey yelled, his hand clenched the shirt that hugged Ian's body. 

"I'd love to know you. Everything. If you would let me." Ian whispered, moving forward. Their chests pressed together.

Mickey's brain fogged. His body felt on fire as Ian's chest pressed against his. Their face inches apart. 

"I see you." Ian whispered, their lips brushed.

******

A chirp on his phone pulled Mickey out of his thoughts. He knew it was someone checking in on him. He knew that if he didn't get up and reply they would come bugging him.

He pushed himself off the couch and moved over to the table flipping the phone open. He hated this. He just wanted to be left alone. It has been a month. A month of hell, but to Mickey it felt like eternity.


	5. Can't Breathe.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hard year since Ian passed away.

Paint bleeds, I can't breathe, need you here with me  
Close my eyes I can feel you close  
(Why did you have to go?)

Sleepless nights, sweat induced panics, the intense loneliness Mickey felt as the months drained on. His apartment smelt less and less of Ian and it broke his heart in ways he didn't know it could break anymore. He felt so incredibly lost. 

The simple fact that Ian was gone had sunk in months ago but it didn't dull the ache in his heart. It was a year since that day. That day that his life fell apart, the day his heart died. He felt empty. Getting out of bed was the hurdle of the day. He knew that the door bell would ring any minute. His family would be over, making sure he was okay. Making sure he was eating and taking care of himself.

His phone chirped on the night stand and he didn't wanna look at it. His screensaver was of Ian. Of when they had just gotten married. He wished he had taken more pictures of him over the years. There was a knock at the door and he begrudgingly pulled himself out of his bed. 

He could hear the voices on the other side of the door as he pulled a shirt over his head. Bracing himself he opened the door. 

"Oh Mickey," Debbie breathed falling into his arms. They tightened reflexively and he relaxed. 

Fiona had tears in her eyes, she always did these days. Something they had in common. Lip couldn't keep the bottle from his mouth, the whiskey he had almost gone. Mandy stood with her head down, her tear stained cheeks and blood shot eyes made his heart ache more. 

Debbie pulled away, and he moved to let everyone in. He hadn't cleaned in God knows how long and it showed. Ian always cleaned. He liked it.

"How are you doing Mickey?" Fiona moved to put a hand on his shoulder.

"That's a stupid fucking question Fiona, how are you doing? I'm broken. " Mickey sighed, dropping to the couch.

"We all are Mickey. But like I've always said, it will get better. In time. Time heals everything." Fiona went into the kitchen to grab a drink as Debbie, Mandy and Lip settled around the room.

"Fuck time." Mickey was already exhausted from this encounter. 

"You say that now," Debbie whispered, eyes darting around.

"You guys don't understand. You lost your brother, I lost the most important person in my life. I lost the love of my life. I never want to forget, I never want the pain in my chest to leave. It's the only thing that keeps be going. That pain. Knowing one day, hopefully sooner rather than later I'll be with him again." Mickey let a tear slip before violently wiping it away before standing up and walking into the bathroom.

"Mickey, we understand. We do, but you can't think like that." Lip yelled from his spot on the couch.

Mickey could feel himself falling apart inside the bathroom. The clamoring in his living room made his anxiety skyrocket. 

"Mickey, please come back out." Mandy softly knocked on the door. 

"Can you please all leave. I can't do this. I'm not ready for this." Mickey was exhausted, he twisted the ring around his finger as he waited for the voices to slip away. 

Standing as he heard the front door closing. He knew he wouldn't be bugged about this. They understood somewhat but Mickey's love was deep and intense. His heartbreak was just the same. It would take him so much longer to even move on from this. 

He heard his phone chip again as he exited the bathroom. Falling into the bed, he pulled the phone from the table and scrolled through the messages. 

'I love you Mickey. If you need me call me.' 

'I know it's hard, but I'm here. Don't forget that.'

'Call me if you need me assface. I love you.'

Mickey clicked the phone off, Debbie, Lip and Mandy all meant well but they just didn't understand. They never would because none of them had every lost someone they love more than life itself. 

Rolling to his side he hugged the pillow that no longer smelled like Ian and felt his entire body freeze. The hair on his arms stood and the feeling of being watched intensified to an almost unbearable level. 

"Ian, if you are here I love you so fucking much." Mickey scrunched his eyes closed and felt a heat unlike anything he has ever felt fill his entire being. 

Flashes of their life blurred behind his eyes and he could feel the tears seep out. Flashes of Ian laying in bed, whispering 'I love you' as he kissed up Mickey's neck, lips connecting. Sweet touches, and lazy mornings spent making love. 

Their wedding, their talks of kids and moving far away. Traveling and going where they always wanted to go. It was nice to see those times, times when they were happy, together, alive. 

"Why did you have to go?" Mickey called out, the heat left his body, his tears soaked the pillow like countless nights before and he couldn't stop the cover of sleep that shrouded him as he slipped away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter already written.


	6. Goodbye For Now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey visits Ian's grave for the last time.

I'd give up my eyes to see you one last time. And I'd give all my fingertips to touch you. And I could paint you picture perfect even if I were blinded. But you have to die for me to see how to live. 

He had been here a five thousand times, but it never made it any easier. Five years. It still felt like he was drowning. Like he could see the surface but he couldn't grab hold of it. It just kept slipping through his fingers like butter. 

He still cried every single day. He cried with Debbie every time he saw her. They were just so similar and it broke him when he saw her but he could never not see her. It was the only connection to Ian he had left. He had shut everyone else out over the years, but her. 

The grass crunched under his feet as he moved his way through the graves. Trying in vain not to trip which he always seemed to do. Always over the same one too. Mr. And Mrs. McCormick. He always apologized. He felt bad. 

Under the tree, a shady spot from the sun. Perfect spot for Ian and that's why he picked it. He picked both plots. One for each of them but he had never dreamed he would be here this soon. Never dreamed of needing them as soon as he did. 

Settling against the granite, his head fell back and he closed his eyes. Ands gripped the grass that lay under him. He loved and hated coming here. A few times a week over five years had made him feel like he was on another world. He wished he could feel Ian under his fingertips. What he wouldn't give to smell him one last time. 

He had made a decision. It was one of the hardest decisions in his life and he didn't know how to say it without breaking down. He turned and traced the engravings on the granite. In large letters spelled 'GALLAGHER'. He had taken Ian's last name much to the red heads surprise. 

Under it was both their names. Mickey's dates were unfinished but Ian's were filled in. Seeing that for the first time made him sick. The memories flooded him but he shook his head trying to focus. His mouth opened but words escaped him. 

"I don't know how to start this." The whisper felt like betrayal of the worst kind. 

"You remember when we laid in bed the morning after we got married and we decided we wanted to visit all these cool places? Well I've been saving. I want to visit them. I want to go all the places you dreamed of going." Mickey's head fell forward, cool stone felt like heaven. 

"I know you would want me to live my life. I know you want me to move on and be happy. I may never really be happy but going those places you wished to go, even without you will give me you back. To fall in love with spaghetti in Italy, or the beautiful paintings in France. Even eat some weird fucking food in China. I'll think of you in everything I do. I feel like I'm letting you down staying here. And I want more than anything to make you proud. I hope you understand. I really do. This isn't for me, it's for you. Everything I've always done was for you. I love you more than anything." Mickey could feel the tears fall and land in the grass. 

He knew this was the last time he would be here. The last time he would see Ian's name etched in cold granite. Fiona and Debbie didn't understand why he had to leave. Why he had to move on. He had tried explaining but they only saw it as selfish. 

"You know your sisters think I'm selfish. Maybe I am. I don't know anymore. You were my anchor. I'm just trying to find you out there in this big world. Connect or some shit. I just need to do something. This is what we planned. You really but I'd have followed you to hell in back. You know that." Mickey slowly got to his feet. 

He pressed a hand to the plaque and he memerized it. Next time he would be here, he would be placed in the ground next to Ian. He wished that day would still come sooner rather than later but that wasn't his choice. Leaning down he pressed a kiss to the top of it and turned. 

A breeze of cool hair brushed up his body and he could feel himself deflate. He knew this is what Ian would want. He could feel it in his bones. He made his way to the exit once again tripping over the McCormick's. 

"This will be the last time guys. I'm sorry." Mickey laughed softly. 

The wind swirled around him and he felt the soft touch along his shoulder blades, his heart stilled in his chest. He turned just in time to see a flower float and land on top of the slab that bore only Ian's name. His heart swelled in his chest and he turned to continue his journey. 

"I'll make you proud." The whisper was caught in the wind, bringing the message to Ian.


	7. The Marvelous Adventures of Mickey.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian wanted to travel the world, so Mickey does it for him.

Angels fall. It's not your fault. Time goes on without you. Goodbye old friend. We'll meet again. Life goes on without you. 

Year 1

Mickey went to Spain first. The beautiful architecture was what drew him in. The coastal breezes and beautiful people is what kept him until his thirty first birthday. A birthday he thought he would spend with Ian, but in the grand scheme of things just wasn't in the cards.

He spent his birthday alone, in a small little apartment on the outskirts of Seville. He had visited Ibiza a few months prior. The gay scene there was something different. He had tried and failed to sleep with a guy he met. His name was Mateo. He was tall, gorgeous olive skin and beautiful hazel eyes. 

He couldn't bring himself to do it. His heart still belonged to his Ian in every single way possible. So he ran and took his sorry ass to Seville. It was beautiful and it was enough for him until he was tired of it and moved on to chase their dreams. 

Year 2

Thirty two came and went and he spent the year in France. He hated the people and the food but the fact he could smoke just about anywhere made up for the lack of hospitality and cuisine.

The art was beautiful, the amount of paintings this country owned was astounding and after the year Mickey felt like he had seen them all and not one compared to the picture of Ian he kept in his wallet. Nothing filled the void. 

Mickey kept busy though, doing side jobs to keep saving money for future trips. He knew that he didn't want to return to the Southside so soon. He still made regular calls to his family. He had sadly missed Debbie get married and Lip graduate college for the third time but they understood and he sent post cards every chance he could. 

Year 5

He had met a very nice gay couple in the heart of London. They had taken him in and fed him. Mickey stayed there for three years. London by far his favorite place he had been. He worked in a bar for most of those years. 

Even developing a slight accent to accompany him and he knew Ian would really enjoy that if he was here. Ian would love the hustle and bustle of the big cities. And absolutely adore the quiet countryside. The people the most plesent of his travels. 

Ireland he visited regularly with his gay friends, the older man of the couple was from there. It was beautiful with the wide fields and animals. He could see Ian wanting to move here and spend forever in a cottage. 

Those thoughts always made his smile turn sour and tears prickle at the corner of his eyes. 

Year 10.

Mickey found himself in Sweden, Norway and Finland over the next five years. Officially coming to the conclusion that the cold was not for him. The artic cold was different than the cold of Chicago. 

He longed for Ian in those nights where it was so fridged and his bones shook inside his skin. He missed the smell on Ian's skin after a shower. He missed the feeling of hands as they pressed between his shoulder blades as they fell asleep together. 

Mickey had missed Liam graduate highschool. He had missed Fiona finally get married and the birth of his first nephew. He hoped every night when he fell asleep they understood. They understood that every single part of the Southside held a memory of Ian. And he couldn't handle it. 

By the time he had reached forty one his eyes had darkened with the continuing sadness. He didn't understand how someone could move on with their life. Laying back in the small bed in a tiny apartment on the outskirts of Hanoi he could feel sleep coming to get him. 

"I know you are out there. I know you want me to find someone, move on. I just can't Ian. My heart died with you that night. I really hope you understand." Mickey's plee fell almost silently from his lips as he drifted off to sleep in a warm embrace he hasn't felt in forever. 

Year 25

At fifty six he had landed on the beautiful beaches of Australia. His feet were buried in the sand, pale skin now sunkissed as he lounged against the sand. He imagined Ian laying beside him, red hair slightly grey and lines around his eyes and he looked up through beautiful eyelashes and focused on Mickey. A dream Mickey imagined almost every night. 

It was his dream to be able to lay on a beach with Ian at his side. To watch as Ian burned and then turned pale again every few weeks. He knew that kid burned like a motherfucker. He wish he could stay here forever, but he couldn't. Staying would mean creating a life. Possibly finding someone and he didn't want that. Never again.


	8. You Named Your Son Ian?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey returns to the Southside.

(Why did you have to go?)

Black hair turned grey and those beautiful blue eyes that were broken with sadness turned grey. Mickey was always bitter but as time went on he grew colder. He had returned to the Southside on his sixty first birthday. It looked like something out of a modern day magazine. Nothing compared to the years he spent in Australia.

He didn't mind it as much as he thought. He knew the welcome back wouldn't be warm and fuzzy but he had truly missed his family and he had felt like it was time to get back to them even if he only had little time remaining with them. 

The Gallagher house looked completely remodeled. It was bigger, and had a fancy garden out front. He could hear the noise before he even hit the fence and he flicked the cigarette he shouldn't be smoking on to the side walk. 

His feet felt heavy as he moved up the stairs, his hand felt like cement as he knocked on the big blue door. The sound hushed and the door pulled open. Fiona was still skinny, her brown hair now blond and pulled into a messy ponytail, crow's feet around her eyes and wrinkles in her forehead. She still looked beautiful. 

"Mickey, oh my God." Fiona scrambled through the threshold into waiting arms. 

The house grew loud as people pushed out the door to hug the shorter boy. He could hear several sobs and he felt tears in his eyes. Seeing them all, he missed them so much. Much more than his grief had let him. 

Everyone pulled away just in time for Debbie to round the corner, her beautiful red hair flowed down her back and her eyes widened. The cup she was holding fell to the floor. She was in Mickey's arms before he knew what to do. At fifty five she was still as beautiful as he remembered.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming home?" Debbie pressed closer. 

"Wanted it to be a surprise." Mickey mumbled softly as he pulled away. 

Looking at her made him think of Ian. Everything makes him think of Ian but Debbie always was just like him. A mini female version of his husband. 

They ushered him into the house, now furnished to the max with beautiful couches and a nice TV. It was so different than anything he could imagine. He settled next to Debbie on the couch.

"Mickey those are your nieces and nephews," Debbie points to the group of adults that sat at the kitchen table. 

"The two red heads are Ian and Jane. They are mine. Obviously. Franny is away in college. And the one with the glasses is James, he is Carl's only son. The brown haired girl is Marie, she is Fiona's. Lastly, the dark haired boy in the corner, his name is Mickey. He is Mandy and Lip's son." Debbie turned to look at Mickey, her eyes shinned. 

"You named your son Ian?" Mickey felt the tear fall before he could catch himself.

"Of course I did. I miss him every single day. My Ian acts just like my brother. So ambitious and funny." Debbie wiped her eyes and stood up, her hand grabbed Mickey's.

"Mandy is outside with Lip. I'm sure you will give your sister a fucking heart attack." Debbie laughed walking out of the back door.

"Mandy I have a present for you." Debbie stood at the top of the stairs, her smile was broad and beautiful. 

Mandy turned and the shock that graced her face was one of the funniest things Mickey has seen in a long time. The impact of Mandy in Mickey's arms was enough to knock him off his feet. The cries that were produced from Mandy was enough for Mickey to completely break down. 

Mandy has aged gracefully, her hair as deep and black as ever. Her face softly made up and the smile lines around her mouth showed she was happy. It warmed Mickey's heart.

They sat there hugging as everyone filtered out of the house and rested around the fire pit that was ablaze in the back yard. They pulled away from each other and he looked at the family he knew and the family he was just meeting for the first time and at that moment, it was the happiest he had been in thirty years.

Fiona cleared her throat and jestered for them to join everyone. She raised a beer and looked at Mickey. 

"To our family becoming whole again. Or as whole as we can be. Mickey we missed you and I hope you stick around to get to know your nieces and nephews." Fiona smiled and drank from her beer as did everyone else. 

Mickey bit his lip as his eyes darted around the space. His chest hurt and he grabbed for the pack of cigarettes in his pocket. He pressed one to his lips and inhaled. His family needed to know. But not right now. 

The night pressed on as everyone slowly left. He felt the wave of sadness rack over him as he hugged Ian, Jane and Debbie goodbye. The last of the people left and he went around picking up discarded beer bottles and threw them in the recycling. 

"Something is on your mind." Fiona patted the chair next to her at the table. 

"Stage four lung cancer. I just found out. I came here right after." Mickey saw 

Fiona's eyes widened and her mouth fell. The color drained from her face and she reached out and grabbed ahold of soft tattooed hands. 

"How much time?" Fiona pressed her hand to her eyes wiping stray tears.

"Like none. Maybe a month, maybe less. They told me it's spreading like wildfire. I'm on the highest dosage of pain killers out there but it barely dulls the pain. Fiona don't be sad. I don't want you to be anything but happy." Mickey's hand tightened around Fiona's as a look of disgust etched across her face. 

"Happy, how the fuck can I be happy? You just came back and now you are leaving again." Fiona was furious and pushed up from the table the chair hitting the wall.

"I'm happy. Fiona, I haven't been this happy in thirty years. Fiona understand something, I'm going home." Mickey's eyes fell to the table and the anger in the room disappeared.

"Ian." Fiona settled back into the chair.

"I'm going home Fiona. Ian is my home. I'm over joyed actually. I thought I would have to wait so much longer. Please understand." Mickey pleeded. 

"Oh Mickey, I understand. I do." 

Mickey could feel the weight on his shoulders being lifted. A familiar warmth filled his heart and he knew his family loved him. As he laid in bed in the room he had shared with Ian so many years before he wrote notes to everyone. Every niece, nephew, brother and sister. He told them how much he loved them and that he couldn't wait to see them again some day. 

He sealed every envelope except one. Debbie's name stood out in bright red writing. He pulled a token from his wallet, one she gave him as a wedding present with the date he and Ian met. He placed it inside the envelope. Sealing it he writes 'When you miss us, hold this close to your heart, we will find you.'

He places the notes on the bedside table and relaxed against the sheets. He could feel his eyes get heavy and a cold shiver creeped over him. What felt like a hand ran up his arm and cupped his neck. He couldn't open his eyes. He felt peaceful. He felt an immense amount of love and he drifted off to sleep. 

Mickey could faintly hear Fiona's voice echo is his brain.

"Why did you have to go?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter. It's already written.


	9. The ORB

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunited and it feels so good.

I'd give up my eyes to see you one last time. And I'd give all my fingertips to touch you. And I could paint you picture perfect even if I were blinded. But you have to die for me to see how to live.

The falling sensation knocked him out of his reserve. Everything was white. Like whiter than he could imagine. He stared around and he knew. A warm hand circled his bicep and he stared down at it. 

Freckles.

His body turned before he could manage another thought and arms wrapped closely around him. The familiar scent creeped up his nose and he felt his heart race in his chest. He was home. 

Lips pressed to his before he could form a coherent sentence and the taste of Ian was everything he dreamed of. His hands gripping the shirt that covered the pale chest of his husband and he was over joyed just to be able to touch him again. 

The need for air, whether subconscious or not pulled them away from one another. Blue eyes connected with green and Mickey could now fully see his husband. Dressed in white and blue he was so beautiful to him. He reached up and rested a hand on Ian's cheek. 

"Mickey, I missed you so much." Ian's voice was like butter in Mickey's ears. It rang strong and he could only nod.

Ian's smile faltered slightly but he continued to light up at just Mickey's touch. Ian turned and grabbed the tattooed hand he pissed and pulled the shorter man beside him. 

Showed him all the odds and ends about the afterlife they were placed in. It wasn't a heaven but it was as close to it as possible. Everyone lived in a Harmony that was peaceful and relaxing. 

Mickey couldn't believe he was here. He was in Ian's light again. He could feel his warmth and smell the scent that radiated from him. It filled him with a warmth, a real warmth he hadn't felt since before Ian died. 

The room was in a hallway with many more. It looked like a hotel but it wasn't. Names were placed on the doors of it's inhabitants. Ian's door was being modified when they arrived. 'Ian & Mickey Gallagher'. His smile widened if possible. That phrase he hasn't seen in so long. 

Ian waved the guy away, and he opened the door. What was inside was something Mickey couldn't wrap his head around. It was huge. A large orb in the center of the room spun softly. 

"That's an ORB, or Observation Request Ball. You ask it to see your loved ones and it will show you them. It's blank now, it was always focused on you. And you arnt there anymore. You are here with me." Ian moved to let go of his hand but Mickey wouldn't let go.

"I love you. God." Mickey gasped out pulling Ian to him. 

Their arms grasped each other as their lips met in a powerful kiss. Mickey made sure that all his sadness and loneliness poured into that one kiss. Like he would never be able to kiss Ian again. He pulled away and pressed his face to Ian's neck.

"I wanted to make my first words to you mean something. I love you. I never fucking stopped. I was so mad you left me for the longest time, I was so sad. I couldn't get out of bed. I felt you though. I felt your presence. Ian, I fucking love you so much." Mickey was gasping by the end, his hands fisted Ian's shirt. 

Ian shushed him and slowly moved them back into a room, legs shook as Ian pressed kisses along Mickey's pale neck. The back of his legs hit something and he collapsed into the softest bed he has ever felt. Ian crawled up his body, lips found Mickey's. 

Mickey's hands pulled at Ian's shirt and set up to peel it off. Porcelain skin speckled with freckles came into view; He lavishly placed kisses on every inch of flesh he could reach. He felt his shirt being pulled up and he helped push it off. 

Rolling them over he straddled his husband. Stilling above him he smiles.

"You are my husband." Mickey couldn't believe it.

"Yes I am." Ian set up on his elbows, his forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"It's just...I'm here. With you. With my husband. I can't believe it." Mickey's hands rested softly against Ian's chest. 

"I love you so much Mickey." Ian leaned up and captured those lips he missed. 

He dragged Mickey back against him and rocked his hips up to meet Mickey's. The moan that escaped both of them was pathetic to say the least. He wrapped a hand around his husbands back and flipped them over. His hands made fast work of the pants that were between them. 

His hand wrapped around Mickey's cock and he stroked gently. His eyes taking in the complete beauty that was his pale husband. He felt a hand wind down and take a hold of his cock before he swatted it away.

"I wanna be inside you. Please." Ian begged, his hand tightening around Mickey.

"Please. Don't keep me waiting any longer." Mickey grasped for Ian and pulled him close, their lips met in sloppy unison and he could feel Ian reach over and grasp something. 

He could hear the soft pop of a cap and then he felt the warmth of Ian circle his hole. A tentative finger pressed gingerly inside him. His mouth fell open as Ian pressed kisses all over his face and down his neck as he started to move his finger. 

"More Ian please." Mickey pleeded and Ian answered by placing another finger slowly inside him. 

The slight twinge of pain subsided almost instantly as he started to stretch around Ian's fingers. His body reacted like it always did when Ian was in any way inside of him. He whined softly as the sensation left his body and a quite larger appendage took its place slowly stretching him. 

His toes curled and he felt his heart race, his body covered in sweat as Ian bottomed out. He opened his eyes and pulled Ian down, their lips meeting. He could feel Ian throb inside him, his heart raced in his chest and their tongues met as Ian pulled out and slammed into him. 

Ian chocked and pressed on. His hips moved on their own and he completely lost himself in his husband. They shared moans and tongues moved together in a dance they only knew the steps too. 

"I love you. I love you." Ian chanted in Mickey's ear as he continued to move back and forth. 

"Please touch me." Mickey gripped Ian's hair as he arched his back. 

Ian weaved his hand between their bodies and gripped Mickey in his hand. Stroking him furiously. His other hand found one of Mickey's and threaded their fingers together. 

"I'm close, oh god harder." Mickey moaned loudly. 

Ian pushed harder, his hips erratically trying to chase their orgasms as they both fell over the edge. Mickey spilled into Ian's hand as Ian stilled inside of him. 

Their bodies were stuck together as Ian slipped out of Mickey. The groan that left Mickey's parted lips made Ian's dick twitch. That long without sex he was surprised they both lasted as long as they did. He rolled over and pulled Mickey close. 

"So this is the afterlife?" Mickey looked up through hooded eyes.

"Yup. Pretty great now that you are here." Ian chuckled and stroked Mickey's cheek.

"You know there were days I prayed for death right? Days where I begged to go blind just to see you one last time. Days where I would have given anything just to touch you. Those were the hardest days." Mickey leaned up on an elbow, eyes cast downward.

"I was there for it all. I remember. Believe me I felt the same. I wanted to touch you, even if I could just smell you one last time. I cried every day Mickey. I didn't want to leave you. It wasn't my plan or idea." Ian could feel tears in his eyes but a soft hand landed on his cheek and wiped them away as they fell. 

"I know Ian. I know." Mickey settled against his chest, the feel of Ian's heartbeat calmed him. 

The soft content humming slowly died down and Mickey could feel Ian fall asleep. He gripped Ian tighter and pushed his face into the crook of the red heads neck. 

"God I missed you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm thinking a little one shot sequel. YesNo???
> 
> Sequel called The O.R.B.


End file.
